Trial of Faith

I've been thinking a lot about what this means.  What is a trial of faith?  Is it when something bad happens and you question your testimony?  Is it any bad thing that happens?  Is is when you are looking for answers but don't get them right away?

By the first definition, I've never had a real trial of my faith.  I've never questioned whether there is a God.  There have been challenges in my life, but none of them have ever made me question what I believe.  I have always found comfort in my beliefs rather than questioning them. 

I've never had a burning question that I've had to wait a long time to get an answer, so it's a no on that front too.

But what if a trial of faith involves trying to go it alone, or turning to the Lord for comfort and strength?  If that's what it means, I've had some trials of my faith.  Too often, I rely on my own strength to figure things out.  Usually that works ok, because the Lord has blessed me in so many ways that I have a lot of resources.  But sometimes, I get on my knees and ask the Lord to support me.  I have turned to him and asked him to heal me and strengthen me so that I can do what he has asked me to do.

I am grateful that I have never had the kind of trial that makes me question my testimony.  I am also grateful that I have had the kind of trials that push me to turn to my Father and his son Jesus Christ and ask them to lift me and help me through.  That kind of trial is difficult, but leaves me so much better off than I was when I started out.

PS - this pondering was brought on by a conference talk: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/trial-of-your-faith?lang=eng

Anger

While reading the sermon on the mount, I thought about the following scripture:

whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.

I have always thought that scripture was pretty harsh.  Getting angry puts you in danger of judgment.  How in the world is anyone supposed to go through life without getting angry?  I would need to repent 20 times a day.

It has been a while since I've read that verse and it seems different.  My perspective has changed.  I have worked hard on not getting angry.  I try to respond more calmly to situations in my life where anger might seem justified.  Anger is a selfish emotion.  It is all about how things affect me.  Anger and compassion don't exist very well together.  Either I respond to something someone does with anger, or I think of them and how they might feel - what their motivations are, how my behavior affects them.

Controlling anger isn't enough.  I need to soften my heart so patience and compassion replace the instinct to be angry.  I am a lot better than I used to be.  I can feel the difference.  Anger is destructive to my soul.  Without it, I am closer to the Lord.

Is it unfair to condemn someone for anger?  Not at all.  Ridding ourselves of anger removes a huge barrier that separates us from the Savior.  Rather than a harsh, unforgiving condemnation, I now see this verse as a challenging, but worthwhile commandment from a wise and loving father.