whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.
I have always thought that scripture was pretty harsh. Getting angry puts you in danger of judgment. How in the world is anyone supposed to go through life without getting angry? I would need to repent 20 times a day.
It has been a while since I've read that verse and it seems different. My perspective has changed. I have worked hard on not getting angry. I try to respond more calmly to situations in my life where anger might seem justified. Anger is a selfish emotion. It is all about how things affect me. Anger and compassion don't exist very well together. Either I respond to something someone does with anger, or I think of them and how they might feel - what their motivations are, how my behavior affects them.
Controlling anger isn't enough. I need to soften my heart so patience and compassion replace the instinct to be angry. I am a lot better than I used to be. I can feel the difference. Anger is destructive to my soul. Without it, I am closer to the Lord.
Is it unfair to condemn someone for anger? Not at all. Ridding ourselves of anger removes a huge barrier that separates us from the Savior. Rather than a harsh, unforgiving condemnation, I now see this verse as a challenging, but worthwhile commandment from a wise and loving father.
Frustration is selfish too. I realized that when I am trying to help my kids work through something, I often think about how their issues affect me and make my life difficult. What I should be thinking is how they feel. If I am frustrated when I can't calm someone down, think about how much worse my child feels.
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